Fleabag S1 : E1

Fleabag udah menarik minatku sejak pertama kali aku subscribe Amazon Prime. Ini juga jadi pilihan series pertamaku dari situs tersebut. Dari judulnya aja udah bikin penasaran. Belum lagi kovernya, di mana dia menangis berderai air mata sampai berlepotan maskara kayak di atas.

Tapi aku nggak nyangka kalau ceritanya bakalan kocak. Kirain bakalan deep and dark and sad. Well, aku kan nggak begitu perhatian sama blurb. Kecuali kalau emang lagi niat aja. Dan meski ceritanya cenderung kocak, tapi sebenarnya ini kisah yang menyedihkan juga. Fleabag menyimpan keputusasaannya dalam-dalam. Deep down, she’s crying out for help. Dari namanya aja udah menunjukkan kesengsaraan nasib dia. Fleabag means an animal considered inferior or in poor condition. Entah itu benar nama dia di series ini apa bukan, karena seingatku nggak pernah ada yang panggil nama dia, kecuali as You, of course. 

Itulah pendapat sementaraku untuk episode pertama Fleabag yang baru kutonton. Sebuah series sedih berbalut komedi. Again I tell you, guys, aku mau buat review series perepisode. Mmm, bukan review juga sih namanya, tapi lebih ke pendapat pribadiku soal series ini perepisodenya. Juga membahas soal momen tertentu yang benar-benar menarik perhatianku, entah itu momen bagus atau momen jelek. So don’t expect me to write anything about theory of filming, etc. You’ll be disappointed as hell. And don’t expect me to not give away the plot of the series because I will. You know I will.

Dari awal mulai, Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) udah ngajak ketawa. Ekspresi mukanya benar-benar kocak. Dia juga pakai gaya Frank Underwood di series House of Cards. Bermonolog ke kamera, which is soooo funny karena Fleabag memang karakternya lucu, cuek dan nggak tahu malu. Malah cenderung narsis, lol. Kalian bisa baca dialognya yang menunjukkan sifat uniknya Fleabag nanti di bawah, yang khusus aku buat untuk review pertamaku ini. Tapi kayaknya ke depannya enggak deh. Capek, bok, ngetiknya. You know what, episode satu ini cuman 26 menit, tapi kalau dipakai ngetik dialog, bisa ngehabisin waktu seharian. Fiuhhh. Tapi pas aku baca lagi hasil ketikanku, aku puas banget. Seperti bernostalgia sama kejadian-kejadian yang menarik dari series ini. Memang sih gampang tinggal nonton aja lagi seriesnya, tapi kadang ada perbedaan yang sulit dijelaskan antara membaca dan menonton. It’s a different experience. 

Plot Fleabag ini maju mundur. Waktu pertama kali nonton memang bikin bingung. Perpindahan alurnya tiba-tiba dan tampak seperti sesuatu yang lewat di hadapan kita tanpa kita lihat, tahu-tahu saling tubruk. Begitulah kira-kira. Dan yang paling mengejutkan, adegan sex scene yang langsung muncul di bagian pertama! Damn, I was in shock. It was so out of nowhere but it ended up funny. She’s so funny. Hal yang mengejutkan nggak berakhir sampai di sana. Di scene berikutnya digambarkan Fleabag lagi masturbasi sambil ngelihat Mr. Obama pidato di laptopnya, OMG!!! Udah gitu ada cowoknya lagi tidur di sebelah dia!!! Jelaslah cowoknya marah ngelihat tingkah memalukan Fleabag ini, HAHAHA. Lucu banget. Udah gitu cowoknya sampai mewek-mewek bilang, “Don’t say anything! And please don’t stop me leaving.” Sementara Fleabag emang diam membatu dan cuma perhatiin dia aja. I swear, it’s so funny just like that.

Ke belakang-belakangnya masih lucu banget. Aku nggak berhenti tertawa nontonin aksinya Fleabag waktu dikecengin sama cowok ugly di bus, terus waktu dia wawancara buat pengajuan modal usaha kafe kecilnya yang berakhir nyebelin dan saling ledek: “WOW! Terus kejadian sama kakaknya yang perfeksionis di sebuah seminar, (fyi, yang jadi lecturer di seminar tersebut adalah ibu  kandungnya Phoebe, Tree Waller-Bridge. Namanya unik ya, Pohon). Lalu kejadian bersama pelanggan di kafe kecilnya dan orang tersebut nggak pesan apa-apa, selain numpang nge-charge segala alat elektroniknya, dan juga kejadian Fleabag yang datang ke rumah ayahnya dan nyolong patung kesayangan milik ibu tirinya. Di bagian ini sedih banget. Ayahnya kayak nggak peduli gitu sama Fleabag padahal dia kan anaknya sendiri. Mungkin memang begitu ya gaya hidup keluarga inti di UK. Harus mandiri kalau udah dewasa. Tapi kalau di film Bridget Jones’s Diary, ayahnya masih mau peduli sama Bridget. Kayaknya ayah Fleabag benci sama ibunya Fleabag, jadi dia agak malas gitu berhubugan sama kedua anak kandungnya. Belum lagi dengan kecelakaan tragis yang terjadi pada sahabatnya Fleabag, Boo. It’s indeed a cute/silly name, too, lol. 

Okay, now let’s move to the dialogue/script. 

Fleabag

Fleabag berusaha menenangkan dirinya dengan cara mengatur napas. Dia memandang ke luar pintu kaca yang buram, menunggu seseorang dengan gugup.

Fleabag: (Menatap kamera dan bicara terengah) You know that feeling when a guy you like sends you a text at 02.00 on a Tuesday night asking if he can come and find you and you’ve accidentally made it out like you’ve just got in yourself so you have to get out of bed, drink a half bottle of wine, get in the shower, shave everything, dig out some Agent Provocateur Business, suspender belt, the whole bit and wait by the door until the buzzer goes?

(Lelaki yang dinanti datang. Dia berdiri di depan pintu)

Fleabag: And then you open the door to him like you’d almost forgotten he was coming over. (Open the door and act surprised) Oh. Hey.

Man (Arsehole Guy (Ben Aldridge)): Hey. (Smiling)

Fleabag: Hey.

Man: Hey.

Fleabag: (To camera) And then you get to it immediately.

(Arsehole Guy lantas mencium Fleabag dengan penuh nafsu lalu mereka berakhir di ranjang, menikmati seks yang hebat, lol. What a dawn. Awalnya Fleabag was on top, lalu si lelaki menariknya turun dengan kasar. Fleabag terbaring miring, dan sambil berbicara ke arah kamera, dia membiarkan si lelaki melanjutkan seksnya)

Fleabag: After some pretty standard bouncing, you realize… he’s edging towards your arsehole. But you’re drunk and he made the effort to come all the way here, so you let him. He’s thrilled (tersenyum santai) Ohh (a little hurt).

Arsehole Guy: I’m so thrilled.

(Fleabag tersenyum penuh arti)

Kesokkan harinya Fleabag terbangun dan langsung berbicara ke kamera:

Fleabag: And then the next morning you wake to find him fully dressed, sat on the side of the bed, gazing at you. (Fleabag stares at the man and then says…) He says the—

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Arsehole Guy: Last night was incredible.

Fleabag: (To camera) Which you think is an overstatement, but then he goes on to say that—

Arsehole Guy: It was particularly special because, uh, I’ve never managed to actually… up the bum with anyone before.

Fleabag: (To camera) To be fair, he does have a large penis.

Arsehole Guy: And though that’s always been a fantasy of mine, I’ve never found anyone I could do it with.

Fleabag: (To camera) And then he touches your hair…(He touches her hair) And thanks you with a genuine earnest.

Arsehole Guy: (Touches her face) Thank you.

Fleabag: (To camera) It’s sort of moving. Then he kisses you gently. (He kisses her on the lips gently) And then he leaves (He leaves and closes the door) And you spend the rest of the day wondering…

Fleabag berada di sebuah kafe, duduk di sebuah kursi sambil memegang cangkir, wondering…)

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Fleabag: (To camera) Do I have a massive arsehole?

***

Fleabag berada di sebuah bis, membaca koran. Diam-diam dia lirik-lirikan sama seorang cowok (Jamie Demetriou as Bus Rodent) yang duduk nggak jauh di belakangnya. Cowok itu selalu mengalihkan pandangannya ke koran yang dibacanya setiap kali Fleabag menangkap basah dirinya. Ada perasaan senang dalam hati Fleabag. Sayangnya ketika cowok itu akhirnya tersenyum, ternyata giginya jelek banget!

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Perlahan Fleabag mundur sambil diam-diam meringis miris.

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Bel berbunyi menandakan pemberhentian dan Fleabag bersiap turun. Ternyata cowok tersebut juga turun di pemberhentian yang sama. Mereka sama-sama berdiri di dekat pintu keluar.

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Bus Rodent: (Chuckle) Wow. Um. This doesn’t happen very often, does it? (Tertawa)

Fleabag: No (Ikut tertawa) I s—I suppose it’s—It’s quite rare, you know.

Bus Rodent: Yeah.

Fleabag: (To camera, angry) I hate myself. (Then laughing again with the man)

Bus Rodent: Um, are you going to work?

Fleabag: Not actually–

Bus Rodent: Okay. Um, this is going to sound crazy, um, but I think that  I should take your number, and I think I should call it, and I think I should ask you if you want to go out for a drink with me.

Fleabag: Um… (Tersanjung)

Bus Rodent: Fuck me, you’ve got a boyfriend.

Fleabag: Um, no, um, we broke up quite recently, you see.

Bus Rodent: Oh, my God, I’m so sorry-slash-really pleased. Um, how the hell did he manage to fuck that up.

(Fleabag tercengang menatap pria di hadapannya, lalu dia flashback ke kejadian di mana dia akhirya putus sama cowoknya)

Di kamarnya, di atas tempat tidurnya, Fleabag lagi nonton pidato Obama di laptopnya sambil makan snack…

Obama: Power rarely gives up without a fight, particularly in places where there are divisions of tribe and divisions of sact.

(Sambil nonton, tiba-tiba Fleabag memasukkan tangannya ke bawah selimut, ke dalam underwearnya… and masturbated!!!)

Obama: We also know that populism can take dangerous turns. And there will be difficult days along the way (Fleabag menggerakkan tangannya semakin cepat sementara cookies di tangan satunya terjatuh) from the extremism of those who would use democracy to deny minority rights to the nationalism that— (Tiba-tiba cowoknya, Harry (Hugh Skinner), yang tengah tertidur di sebelah Fleabag terbangun dan melihat perbuatan Fleabag!)

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Harry: What are you doing?

Fleabag: Nothing. (Langsung menghentikan perbuatannya dan menutup laptop. Mereka saling tatap, lalu Harry beranjak marah dari tempat tidur untuk memakai bajunya.) Harry…

Harry: I know what you were doing.

Fleabag: I was watching the news (Berlagak santai)

Harry: Really?

Fleabag: Yeah.

Harry: Really?

Fleabag: Yeah.

Harry: What was he talking about, then?

Fleabag: What?

Harry: Please, I just need to hear this. What was he talking about?

Fleabag: (Berpikir) Iraq.

(Harry berbalik marah dan memasukkan barang-barangnya ke dalam tasnya)

Harry: Don’t say anything. And please don’t stop me leaving.

(Fleabag terdiam menatap punggung Harry)

Harry: (Berbalik) Please don’t!

Fleabag: Okay. (Lembut)

Harry: Don’t! You know, I’ve really tried to be there for you through this. You can’t say I haven’t tried. Don’t say anything. And please don’t contact me or turn up at my house drunk in your underwear. It won’t work this time.

Fleabag: (To camera and smiling dengan pedenya) It will.

Harry: (Matanya kini berkaca-kaca) I’m taking that posh shampoo. (Berjalan menuju pintu dan berbalik lagi) He was talking about democ—

(Back to the scene on the bus with the Bus Rodent)

Fleabag: Uh, he was just—(tertawa kikuk) really kind and supportive of my work. He’d cook all the time, run baths, Hoover. He’d laugh at all of my jokes. He was really great with my family and my friends loved him. Plus, he was really fucking affectionate.

(Bus Rodent tertawa terbahak)

Bus Rodent: Yeah, he sounds like a dickhead.

Fleabag: Yeah (Ikut terbahak)

(Fleabag dan Bus Rodent kini ada di dekat taman)

Bus Rodent: So—so was that, like, you can have my number, or what are we—

Fleabag: (Mengangguk) Yes. Yeah. I guess that’s a yes.

Bus Rodent: Oh, my God, great. Uh, okay (Mengambil sesuatu dari saku jaketnya dan menyerahkannya pada Fleabag) And I’ll be sure to treat you like a nasty little bitch.

(Fleabag tersenyum canggung)

Bus Rodent: That was a joke.

Fleabag: Oh, I know, I know. (Tertawa meringis)

Bus Rodent: (Tertawa juga) Okay. I was like, oh—Okay. Great, Well, uh, I–  I’ll see you then?

Fleabag: Okay. (Meringis lagi)

Bus Rodent: Okay. Okay. (Lalu pergi dan tak lama berbalik lagi) I can’t stop smiling. Sorry I—(Tertawa) Well, okay. (Pergi)

(Fleabag berjalan pergi sambil meraih sesuatu dari dalam saku jaketnya. Mungkin hape, karena setelahnya dia lari terbirit-birit)

Ternyata dia mau mengajukan pinjaman. Di hadapannya duduk seorang lelaki, bank manager (Hugh Dennis), tengah memeriksa berkas-berkas Fleabag dan Fleabag tampak masih belum bisa bernapas stabil, Masih terengah dan mengelap keringat di dahinya.

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Bank Manager: Thank you for coming in today. We really appreciate you considering us for your small business startup loan.

Fleabag: No problem.

Bank Manager: I’ve read your application form.

Fleabag: Thank you.

Bank Manager: It was funny.

Fleabag: Oh. Okay, that wasn’t my intention, but— (Tertawa)

Bank Manager: As you are probably aware, we haven’t had the opportunity to support many—any women led businesses since the—

Fleabag: Sexual harassment case.

Bank Manager: The sexual harassment case. Yes. (Menatap Fleabag yang terengah) Are you all right?

Fleabag: Oh, yeah. Sorry, I just, um, I ran from the station, so I’m just a bit hot. Though I’m really excited about, um—

Bank Manager: Water?

Fleabag: No, thanks. I’m fine.(Terengah) Actually, yeah. Water would be great. If I could—

Bank Manager: Sure. There are a couple of details that we need to iron out, and one or two bits and pieces. I’m going to see some more of. It says in here that you opened the business with your partner in—

(Tanpa diduga, Fleabag membuka sweaternya sekilas, mempertontonkan branya yang berwarna hitam, lalu menutupnya lagi. Bank manager melongo. Wajahnya malah tambah jutek)

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Fleabag: Mm-hmm.

Bank Manager: Okay. I’m sorry. That kind of thing won’t get you very far here any more.

Fleabag: Oh, no. Sorry (Tertawa kecil) I thought I had a top on underneath.

Bank Manager: Yeah, okay.

Fleabag: No, seriously. In this case, genuine accident.

Bank Manager: I can see, given our history, why you might think that—

Fleabag: No, seriously (Sedikit berteriak) I wasn’t trying to. I was hot.

Bank Manager: I take this kind of thing very seriously.

Fleabag: (Makin keras suaranya) I’m not  trying to shag you. Look at yourself. (Tertawa, lalu berhenti ketika menyadari lelaki di hadapannya tersinggung)

Bank Manager: Okay. Please leave.

Fleabag: Uh… You don’t understand. I need this. I need this loan.

Bank Manager: (Wajah datar) Please just leave.

(Fleabag menatap cukup lama lelaki di hadapannya, dan akhirnya dia beranjak dari kursinya dan mengambil barang-barangnya yang ditaruh di punggung kursi)

Fleabag: Perv.

Bank Manager: Slut.

Fleabag: Wow! (Menatap kesal lelaki itu)

***

Fleabag berlari terbirit-birit lagi saat memasuki sebuah gedung. Di sana sudah menunggu kakaknya, Claire (Sian Clifford), di salah satu kursi. Fleabag lalu duduk di sebelahnya dan, lagi-lagi, terengah.

Fleabag: (To camera) My sister. She’s uptight and beautiful, and probably anorexic, but clothes look awesome on her, so—

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Claire: (Masih menatap brosur) You’re almost late.

Fleabag: I had to do a flash poo in Pret.

Claire: Christ. Did you wash your hands? (Masih menunduk)

Fleabag: Of course not. (Lalu menyapukan telapak tangannya ke pipi kakaknya dan tertawa)

Claire: Oh, my God. You are disgusting. Fucking hell.

Fleabag: Of course I washed my hands. It’s not like I grew up without a mother.

Claire menanggapi dengan wajah cemberut.

Claire: Heard from Dad?

Fleabag: Nope.

Fleabag: (To camera) Dad’s way of coping with two motherless daughters was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures, start fucking our godmother, and eventually stop calling.

Fleabag: You look tired.

Claire: Thanks (Melihat ke brosur) I’ve been sleeping really well recently.

Fleabag membuka jaketnya, memperlihatkan baju merahnya. Lalu Claire melirik marah dan Fleabag pun mengenakan jaketnya lagi.

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Fleabag: (To camera) Shit. I’m wearing the top that she lost years ago, so.. this is gonna be tense.

Claire: Do you want to take your coat off?

Fleabag: No.

Claire: Okay.

Mereka berdua saling tatap dan baru berhenti ketika ada yang lewat di depan mereka, meminta jalan dan kembali duduk begitu orang tersebut sudah lewat.

Claire: So, any luck?

Fleabag: (Cepat menyambar) Oh, God, can we just have two seconds—

Claire: (Balas menyambar) I was going to ask how it was going with the café.

Fleabag: I don’t want to talk about it.

Claire: Fine. We won’t talk, then.

Fleabag: Fine. (Menatap rambut kakaknya) Hair looks nice.

Claire: Oh, fuck off.

Fleabag: (To camera) The only thing harder than having to tell your super high-powered, perfect, anorexic, rich super sister that you’ve run out of money is having to ask her to bail you out.

Fleabag menatap kakaknya, mencari waktu yang tepat.

Fleabag: (To camera) I’m just gonna ask her. (Menatap ragu kakaknya and saying to camera again) I’m just gonna ask her. I’m just gonna—

Claire: Do you need to borrow money?

Fleabag: (Quick response) No.

Fleabag: (To camera) Can’t do it. Can’t do it.

Claire: So business is good, then?

Fleabag: Yeah, it’s good. It’s really good. It’s really really good. Yeah, it’s really good.

Sister: Sounds like it’s really good.

Fleabag: It is.

Flashback: Fleabag berada di cafenya, sedang menjaga. Ada satu pelanggan cowok muda di sana yang sudah duduk.

Fleabag: Hey. (Tersenyum ramah)

Customer: Hey (Mengeluarkan laptop dari dalam tasnya)

Fleabag: Can I get you anything?

Customer: No, thanks. I’m good.

Pelanggan itu mencolokkan charger laptop lalu juga mencharger handphonenya. Handphonenya ada dua sedangkan stekernya kurang, akhirnya dia mengeluarkan steker tambahan dan mencharger handphone satunya lagi (Buset! Ini mau ngopi apa numpang ngecharge aja sih! Minta ditampol) Fleabag terus mengamatinya.

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Fleabag: Are you sure I can’t get you anything at all?

***

Back to reality in the seminar with Claire.

Claire: Is Harry helping?

Fleabag: (Berusaha tenang) Uh, we broke up.

Claire: What? Again?

Fleabag: Mm. If you see him, I’m a wreck, okay?

Claire: God, just don’t get drunk and scream to his letter box again.

Fleabag: (Tertawa kecil) Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Don’t get drunk and shit in your sink again.

Claire: (Marah) When are you gonna stop bringing that up?

Fleabag: (Terbahak) When you done something better.

Claire: I have two degrees, a husband, and a Burberry coat.

Fleabag: You shat in a sink. (Terlihat puas)

Mereka berdua berdiri sebentar ketika ada orang mau lewat dan kembali duduk.

Fleabag: Nothing is ever going to be better. I swear there are pants that give you thrush.

Sister: What are yours made from?

Fleabag: I don’t know (Mengecek label di celananya)

Flashback: Fleabag berada di sebuah shoping mall bersama temannya, Boo (Jenny Rainsford). Mereka lagi coba-coba baju. Nah, awalnya aku kira Boo ini orang asing yang sok kenal dan sok dekat sama Boo. I don’t why I thought so. Yah, pasti karena flashback yang suka tiba-tiba muncul kayak sesuatu yang kubilang di tulisan atas. And to be honest, I didn’t really get what was going on between them. 

Fleabag: I need to get sexy pants.

Boo: I hate my body. I hate my body. I hate my body. I hate my body. Fucking last-minute bastard trendy parties. Why do we do it to ourselves? (Lalu dia keluar dari ruang coba baju, begitu juga Fleabag yang berada di ruang sebelah. Boo menatap tak suka pada pilihan baju Fleabag) Oh, my God. Definitely not. That does nothing for you. I hate that.

Fleabag menatap aneh pada Boo.

Boo: What?

Fleabag: These are my clothes, Boo. I’ve been wearing this all day.

Boo: Oh, God. Were you wearing your coat?

Fleabag: Yes, But—Well, nothing here looked nice. So I just thought I would wear what I was wearing anyway.

Boo: Are you joking?

Fleabag: Are you joking?

Boo: Yes.

Fleabag: (Melonjak gemas) Oh, my—

Boo: It’s really not that bad.

Fleabag: Why didn’t you tell me?

Boo: I’m sorry! I love you!

Fleabag: I have to get a whole new outfit now! (Melempar baju yang di bawanya kepada Boo)

Woman: I’ll buy you pants. I’ll buy you sexy—

Fleabag: I’ve been so many places today! (Marah)

Woman: I’ll buy you sexy pants!

Fleabag: Fuck off (Masuk ke ruang coba)

Boo: I’m sorry. I think it’s a lovely dress.

Fleabag: Grr (Mencubiti Boo)

Back to reality.

Claire: Oh, I mean, you really shouldn’t wear such cheap material. They don’t let your fanny breathe.

Fleabag:  I know.

Tepuk tangan terdengar karena acara akan mau dimulai.

Woman Lecturer: God, look at you. Thank you so much for coming to Women Speak. Opening women’s mouth since 1998. Before we begin, I would like to ask you a question. I don’t know about you, but I need some reassurance. (Laughing) So I pose the question to the women in this room today. Please raise your hands if you would trade five years of your life for the so-called perfect body.

Claire dan Fleabag sama-sama mengangkat tangan dan cuma mereka doang! Claire lalu duduk melorot malu dan cepat-cepat menurunkan tangan Fleabag yang masih teracung dengan pedenya.

Fleabag: (Whispering and smiling) We are bad feminists.

Claire: (Whispering) I want my top back.

Fleabag: (Whispering) Okay.

Ketika acara usai, Claire menunggu Fleabag yang lagi ke toilet untuk membuka baju miliknya. Baju tersebut mau dibalikin ke Claire. Jadinya Fleabag cuma pakai coat doang.

Claire: (Senyum sambil menerima baju dari Fleabag) Won’t you get cold?

Fleabag: No, I get really hairy nipples.

Claire menatap Fleabag.

Fleabag: What?

Tiba-tiba Claire mengangkat tangannya dan tiba-tiba juga Fleabag mencoba menghindar dengan mengayunkan telapaknya. Akhirnya jidat kakaknya tertampar olehnya.

Claire: Oh, fuck!

Fleabag: Fuck! What was that? Jesus!

Claire: A fucking hug. What the fuck did you do that?

Fleabag: It was terrifying. Never do that again.

Claire: I was just trying to—

Semakin banyak orang berlalu-lalang di antara mereka dan segera mereka melupakan kejadian salah paham barusan.

Claire: Are you okay?

Fleabag: Yeah.

Claire; Do you wanna go for a drink or—

Fleabag: I’ve got plans.

Claire: Okay, Fine. Sure. (Berbicara cepat) See you next time. Women Speak, then.

Claire lalu pergi cepat-cepat sementara Fleabag masih berdiri di tempat yang sama. Ketika ada cewek tak dikenal  lewat, dia menyapanya.

Fleabag: Do you want to go for a drink?

Cewek tersebut menatapnya aneh sambil berlalu. Tak lama ponsel Fleabag berbunyi. 

Text: Still smiling? J Drink tonight?

Fleabag tersenyum sambil mengerutkan keningnya. Akhirnya mereka jadi ketemuan di sebuah café, dengan cowok dari bis itu.

Bus Rodent: My sister blows glass. Uh, she has done for a long time. I’ve never, like, been in a fight. Well, I’ve been in a fight. Never been punched in the face. You know what I mean? I’ve been punched in the leg. And someone once threw some punch in my face. So my color this season are sort of brown, mainly, but, like, you know, I wouldn’t say no to a maroon. I wouldn’t, like, jump down the throat of someone wearing something blue. It’s just not for me. So I’m going to go for a waz. (Laughing) You good? Okay.

Lelaki itu langsung beranjak tanpa mendengar jawaban dari Fleabag. Fyi, sedari tadi Fleabag cuma menyimak doang. Ekspresinya pasrah gitu. Sementara lelaki itu pergi ke toilet, dan dompetnya tertinggal di meja, Fleabag mencoba mengambil selembar uang tapi lelaki itu keburu balik lagi untuk tanya hal ke Fleabag. Fleabag pun buru-buru menarik tangannya lagi.

Bus Rodent: Same again? While I’m up? Or perhaps, like, a little cocky-tail? Or, like—Or, like another shot?

Fleabag: Oh, uh, yeah, or we could just go back to mine.

Bus Rodent: Wow. Uh, thanks. Uh, I’ve actually got work tomorrow, but, uh, another drink here.

Fleabag: Or we could just go back to yours.

Bus Rodent: Got to be up really early, so—

Fleabag:  I could always get you a cab in the morning.

Bus Rodent: That’s ridiculous. Like – (giggling)

Fleabag: Okay, what the fuck is your problem? (Nada tenang)

Bus Rodent: Oh. Uh, nothing. I, um, I like you.

Fleabag: Okay, you’re a dick. (Merapikan barangnya di meja)

Bus Rodent: What’s going on? (Menatap heran)

Fleabag: (Menyandang tas) You’re pathetic. (Berdiri dan bersiap pergi)

Bus Rodent: Wait.

Fleabag: Don’t follow me.

Bus Rodent: I—I wasn’t. (Mengambil sesuatu di bawah lantai) You dropped this. (Menyerahkan uang itu pada Fleabag, yang kayaknya tadi coba dicuri Fleabag dari dompet lelaki itu, lol. Fleabag menerimanya dengan pura-pura cuek dan marah, lalu pergi meninggalkannya. 

IMG_1576

***

Di luar halte itu Fleabag berdiri, menunggu taksi. Tak jauh di depannya ada seorang cewek, yang kayaknya dalam kondisi mabuk. Cewek itu duduk di trotoar sambil menatap langit. Tiba-tiba cewek itu ambruk, payudaranya terekspos keluar dari tanktopnya. Fleabag cepat-cepat menolongnya dan membetulkan tanktop cewek itu. Gila, scene sewaktu Fleabag meraup dada cewek itu dan memasukkannya kembali ke dalam tanktop-nya memorable banget!!! LMAO!

Fleabag: You okay?

Cewek itu mengangguk.

Drunk Girl: Are you okay? (Menyentuh pipi Fleabag dengan telunjuknya) Sad face.

Fleabag: (Sedikit terkejut) I’m fine.

Cewek itu semakin mendekatkan dirinya ke dalam pelukan Fleabag. Sekilas, pemeran Fleabag ini mirip sama Kate Winslet. Iya gak sih?

IMG_1581

Drunk Girl: Oh. You’re such a lovely man.

Taksi akhirnya datang dan Fleabag membantu cewek itu berdiri.

Fleabag: Okay (Memeluk cewek itu sambil berjalan)

Drunk Girl: Thank you. (Menerima tas dari Fleabag)

Fleabag: Come on. Stay there, stay there. You okay? (Membukakan pintu mobil) Okay, here. Here.

Cewek itu menatap Fleabag sambil memegang telapak tangannya.

Fleabag: Do you—do you want to come home with me?

Drunk Girl: What? (Berteriak sambil mendorong Fleabag ke samping) No way!  You naughty boy. (Lalu masuk ke mobil dan menutup pintu. Fleabag pun sendirian lagi)

Flashback: Fleabag berada di kafenya. Kafe tersebut baru ditutup. Ada Boo juga di sana. Btw, this moment is so touching. Like, I wanna cry and I don’t know why. 😦

IMG_1583

Fleabag: (Menuangkan wine) Ooh. Sing a song, Boo.

Fleabag: (Singing) Another lunch break, another abortion. (Laughing)

Boo: (Singing) Another piece of cake, another two—

Fleabag: (Singing) Fuck attorneys, cigarettes.

Together: (Singing) And we’re happy. So happy. To be modern woman.

(Both chuckling)

Boo: Hey, come here. (Memegang wajah Fleabag) Let’s never ask anyone for anything. They don’t get it.

Fleabag: Deal.

Back to reality ketika di halte sendirian.

Fleabag: Fuck it. (Lalu dia pergi)

Fleabag memanggil-manggil dari lubang surat di pintu.

Fleabag: Hello, hello, hello! Open up! This is totally fine.

Fleabag lalu mengetuk pintu keras-keras dan juga jendela. Pokoknya bikin keributan di tengah malah itu. 

Fleabag: Hello! Open! Hello.

Seorang pria akhirnya membukakan pintu. It’s her dad (Bill Paterson)

IMG_1585

Fleabag: (Tersenyum ceria) All right, Dad.

Dad: What’s going on?

Fleabag: Oh, I’m—I’m absolutely fine.

Dad: Okay.

Fleabag menatap ayahnya sambil manggut-manggut.

Fleabag: I just, uh…

Dad: Yeah?

Fleabag: (Matanya mulai berkaca-kaca) Ah, it’s nothing. It doesn’t—It’s—

IMG_1586

Dad: You know, it’s nearly 2:00 in the morning.

Fleabag: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Um. I don’t wanna—I’m gonna… just… (berbalik dan hendak pergi tapi urung) Oh, fuck it. I have a horrible feeling that I’m a greedy, perverted, selfish, apathetic, cynical, depraved, morally bankrupt woman who can’t even call herself a feminist.

Dad: Well, um… (Diam cukup lama) You get all that from your mother, you know. (Tertawa kecil)

Fleabag menatap ayahnya, lalu tertawa miris.

Fleabag: Good one.

Dad: I—I’m going to call you a cab, darling. And, uh, please, don’t go upstairs.

Ayahnya lalu masuk ke dalam sementara Fleabag masih di luar. Tapi kemudian Fleabag masuk dan… dia naik ke lantai atas. Dia membuka sebuah pintu kamar di mana di hadapannya ada seorang wanita (Olivia Colman) sedang mengerjakan karya seni, semacam lukisan. Wanita itu memunggungi Fleabag jadi nggak menyadari kehadirannya.

Fleabag: (To camera) To be fair, she’s not an evil stepmother. She’s just a cunt.

Fleabag: Hi.

Stepmother: (Berbalik dan tersenyum) Darling. I thought that must be you. Everything all right?

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Fleabag: Yeah, I just thought I’d swing by.

Stepmother: Oh, how lovely. Lucky us.

Fleabag: Don’t worry. Dad’s already booking me a taxi.

Mereka berdua tersenyum canggung, tanpa kata-kata beberapa saat. It’s the best awkward moment I’ve ever seen so far! Love it! Dan suara ibu tirinya benar-benar lembut, tapi lembut yang menikam gitu. Ugh!

Fleabag: What are you doing?

Stepmother: Oh, painting. I find that nighttime’s very peaceful—usually.

Both laughing awkwardly, again.

Fleabag: (To camera) Well, warming up.

Fleabag berjalan ke sebuah rak dan memperhatikan benda-benda di sana.

Stepmother: Look, I know it’s—it’s not really my place, but are you okay? Everyone’s been really worried.

Fleabag: Poor fucker. (Merujuk ke sebuah patung wanita telanjang tanpa kepala dan kaki)

Stepmother: (Tersenyum) Yes. She’s actually an expression of how women are subtle warriors, strong at heart, you know. We don’t have to use muscular force to get what we want. We just use our—

Fleabag: Tits. (Menunjuk patung tersebut lalu mendengus tertawa)

Stepmother: Innate femininity. (Tertawa)

Fleabag: Tits don’t get you anywhere these days. (Tertawa) Trust me.

Fleabag mengambil patung itu dan memandanginya.

Stepmother: It’s very valuable, actually.

Fleabag: How much?

Stepmother: Thousands.

Fleabag: Oh. Can I have it?

Both chuckling.

Stepmother: No. (Lalu dengan lembut mengambil  patung itu dari tangan Fleabag dan menaruhnya kembali di tempat semula)

Mereka saling pandang dengan canggung lagi.

Fleabag: What’s that? (Menunjuk karya seni yang sedang dikerjakan stepmother)

Stepmother: Oh, uh, my self-portrait.

Fleabag menatap cukup lama pada karya seni itu.

Fleabag: Oh. (Menangguk sambil tersenyum, begitu juga stepmother)

Dad: Right, it’s here.

Stepmother: Oh, I think I can hear your dad. (Berjalan ke luar kamar untuk melihat ke bawah)
Dad: Cab’s here! (Berteriak)

Fleabag: Thanks! (Merebut cepat patung di rak)

Stepmother: Aw, nice of him.

Mereka tersenyum canggung lagi.

Fleabag: Okay. Bye. (Mengecup pipi stepmother)

Stepmother: Bye. (Memegang lengan Fleabag) Um, please look after yourself. You really do look ghastly, darling. (Lalu masuk ke kamar sementara Fleabag menatapnya dengan geram)

Di dalam taksi.

Driver: Oh, a café, eh?

Fleabag: (Malas) Yeah.

Driver: On your own?

Fleabag: Uh, kind of.

Driver: Kind of? Go on.

Fleabag: (Chuckle) Well, it’s kind of a funny story, actually.

Driver: Oh, now, that’s good. It’ll keep me going. Shoot.

Fleabag: I opened the café with my friend Boo.

Driver: Cute name.

Fleabag: Yeah. Yeah, she’s dead now. She accidentally killed herself. It wasn’t her intention, but it wasn’t a total accident. She didn’t actually think she’d die. She just found out that her boyfriend fucked someone else and wanted to punish him by ending up in hospital and not letting him visit her for a bit. She decided to walk into a busy cycle lane, wanting to get tangled in a bike and break a finger, maybe. As it turns out, bikes go fast and flip you into the road. Three people died. She was such a dick. (Tertawa pelan) So yeah. Kind of on my own.

Supir taksi menatap penuh curiga pada Fleabag melalui kaca mobil. Sementara itu Fleabag terdiam, tampak tak peduli. Dia membuka coatnya sehingga branya kelihatan. Di bawahnya, di bagian celana, tersimpan patung yang tadi dicurinya dari rumah ayahnya. Fleabag memperhatikan patung itu sementara sopir taksi kembali memandanginya dengan curiga. And this is how this first episode ends. Fleabag tersenyum penuh arti ke kamera.

Slideshow ini membutuhkan JavaScript.

 

Sutradara: Harry Bradbeer, Tim Kirkby

Penulis Skenario: Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Tanggal Tayang USA: 16 September 2016

Durasi: 26 Menit

Berdasarkan Drama Tunggal Karya Phoebe Waller-Bridge: “Fleabag”

Rating: 5 dari 5 Bintang 

 

Ditulis oleh

Sometimes She's in the Mood for Books, for Movies, for TV Series, for Music, to Write, or Doing Nothing at All and Be DEAD. She Just Goes with Her Own Speed. But Sure She'll Try Her Best to Catch Up with the World.

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